The Power of Saying No
Trust me, I know the feeling of always wanting to do every. single. thing. Going to a game, running to the store, grabbing a bite to eat, watching a movie, a quick coffee date that’s never actually quick… I’ve been there. However, I am here to tell you: eventually it will wear you out, and it’s not fun when that happens.
Personally, I still struggle with the concept of telling others no, but I’m so much better than I used to be. If you’re anything like me, I’m sure you’re losing sleep trying to keep up with plans, feeling like 24 hour days just aren’t enough, and constantly compromising (usually on the wrong things). I watched my school work become subpar from spreading myself too thin. Learning that no is okay (and sometimes necessary) is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
And, let’s be real. No me time to destress? That’s a disaster waiting to happen. We all need some alone time; skipping it doesn’t make you happier or more social, it just makes you feel burnout and unhappy.
Why it Doesn’t Matter
I’m sure you’re thinking if you say no you’re going to miss “the best night ever” or you won’t be invited again. But honestly… those people still invite you. And most of the time, it was far from the life-changing night you thought it would be. And if they don’t? Well, then, maybe they weren’t really a friend to begin with.
Every time I have said no to something I wasn’t really feeling, I never regretted it. And, I can’t think of anyone who has. You don’t need to be everywhere to be loved or fulfilled. Saying no just means you’re choosing what you need over what others want. That’s normal. That’s healthy. That’s admirable.
Before saying yes, I always check in with me first. Below are a few questions I ask myself, and I think you should too.
Reminders for You
1. You feel better when things feel like a choice again
Saying yes out of guilt drains you. Saying yes because you want to make every experience feel more meaningful.
2. A friend who cuts you off for saying no is not a friend
Real friends will understand. If someone makes you feel bad, it says more about them than it ever will you.
3. Respect your time
You don’t owe every minute to everyone else. It’s your time, spend it where you want.
4. If it’s not a genuine yes, it’s okay for it to be a no
You don’t need to force it. You usually know deep down- trust it.
5. You don’t need a reason to say no
Sometimes you’re just not feeling it, and that is okay. Don’t let others make you feel like you owe them more than that.
